2024: This Year's Naughty List

Humor. Seriously.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Anyone that voted for Trump on purpose.

Those people that keep sending me emails concerning my “Pee Muscle.”

The 19,999,937 Bluesky users that haven’t followed me yet.

The person that unsubscribed from my Substack because I used the word “twat.”

The sleazy porn peddlers that bought the HotGirls.com domain. I had big plans for that one.

Jeffrey Epstein. Sure, he was murdered, but he’s not likely to be scratched from the annual Naughty List any time soon.

Politicians that waste taxpayer money (and time) stressing about what bathrooms people use.

Jim Belushi, for turning down my interview request for my “It’s Saturday Night!” publication.

Jerry Seinfeld, for that godawful Pop-Tarts movie.

The Undead. Sorry, for some inexplicable reason, I just don’t like the Undead. 

Ninety-nine percent of humans that begin a statement with the words “God bless…”

Merchants who embrace the term “Black Friday.” What’s next, The Shopping Holocaust? The Plague of Presents?

Charles Dickens. I don’t need to see or hear that story again, ever.